Daylight Savings Time Gets a Promotion

Capitol Hill just passed their energy bill.  If you have a conservation conversation with Prezident Shrub about it, he'd tell you that he cares so much about conservation that he made sure to extend our daylight savings time an extra few days each year so we can all save an extra 100 thousand barrels of oil a day for those extra days of extra daylight...

At first, it sounded like the sun was staying out a bit longer for all of us, so we can soak up even more of its energy.  But, then I did the math and realized that the sun still shines the same number of hours upon any given spot regardless of what the clocks say.  It just means that we'll all have to reprogram all of our semi-smart devices that used to know when to adjust, and hope that all the servers in the world get fixed in time so we don't have to worry about losing out on an EeeBay auction or buying stock an hour before we really mean to. 

I guess that's one good way to create new jobs for the IT industry.  Like Y2K all over again.  Very clever.  Might as well dig a few million holes, so people can have jobs filling them back up.  Leave that for the transportation bill to tackle though.  More road fixes and potholes to fill, and very little for fuel-efficient trains, or renewable fuel infrastructure.

So, let's get ready to change the timers of all your phones, computers, watches, VCRs, PDAs, clocks, and other devices later in the year, so we can all pretend the sun is out for more hours so we can postpone turning our lights on, which will save more energy, and help us all get off our dependence of foreign oil, reduce the need for war, end terrorism, and save us all from global warming. 

Too bad General Shrub doesn't have any solar panels on top of his Casa Blanca to take advantage of the extra hours of sunshine the new energy bill is giving U.S.  Heck, he could even cut his own energy bills if he did.  But what does he care, its U.S. who are paying for it anyway...  Or should I say W.E.?

Comments

[Chauncey Gardener]

Plants are very smart devices and don't need to be told by the politicians when to change their clocks. They photosynthesize sunshine when it is available. Their clock is the sun and they adujust to it gradually.

[George W. Weed]

Chauncey, oil cums from plants and ded animuls two, like the dinosores. And the dinosores used ta eat plants or other animuls that eight plants, then they tern inta oil, which is the best form of energy cuz its renewabull. Cuz it takes longer to fotosythawhateveryoucallit, its like a good wine, that takes its time. This solar plant boloknee is a bunch of malarky. We just added more hours of daylite so the people who are in the image of God can rule the Earth the way they suppozed two and save energy in peek hours when it cost more. Soler energy is a pipe dreem. We still have a lotta ded dinosores to suck up and burn, and we need the plants to make more for futcher generashuns. So don't go tellin everbody that plants are smart machines. Peeple mite think yer talkin about soler energy or somethin.

[sell gold bracelets]

Obviously, the goal is to use the mod to scan for deals.

[classic restoration]

I would take advantage of it. Since it's open to everyone else.